what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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