What did we do last night that was yellow?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize