I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
