In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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