The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
