Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
