The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You are a genius and a whore.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
