she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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