She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My feet surprised me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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