Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
