dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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