I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
