I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
