I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
