No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
