how can u be prego again
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
