last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
