Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
