Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
