I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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