The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
