we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
