just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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