I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
