Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
