I smell stomach acid.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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