I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ugly people sure do ruin things
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
