So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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