Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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