your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
