I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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