Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
