Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
