also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
