he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
