Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
