I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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