I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
