Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
