We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
