69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
