My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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