Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
