hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
