I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
