ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
