True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My breasts were aching with rage.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
