the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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