What did we do last night that was yellow?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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