just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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