oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
