Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
