Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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