Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wannas sexs uuuuu
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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