Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
