So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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