he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she woke up with a sticky ear
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
