She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
