Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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