fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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