dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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