I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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