Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
