I wish i was in the wii world.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
