Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
