lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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